Some Nigerians in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT) have reacted to
the strange drift of women making marriage or relationship proposals to
their male counterparts.
They expressed mixed views over the trend in separate interviews with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) on Friday in Abuja.
They noted that although the development was alien to Nigeria’s
culture, but it was becoming trendy in recent times due to increasing
influence of western lifestyle, modernisation and pressure to get
married.
According to some Nigerians, women who make marriage proposals to men
should be applauded for their confidence, rather than ridiculed,
condemned or labeled “desperate’’.
However, others said they were against the trend, adding that such
proposals have been and should remain the sole responsibility of the
man.
Mr Abdul Sarki of Garki 2 said : “Some men of marriageable age delay
proposing to ladies they love due to indecisiveness, poor financial
status and other economic realities.
“Thank God for modernisation, women are not restricted to seek what
they want, and even asking men to marry them when they feel they are
suitable ”.
“The society should stop judging or condemning women that propose
marriages to men, but rather applaud and encourage them for taking the
bold step,’’ he urged.
Mrs Julie Fadason, a resident in Asokoro said she proposed to her
husband due to age factor and the need to start bearing children before
menopause.
“I had to take the bull by the horn when I felt no marriage proposal
was forthcoming despite being in a relationship for over five years with
my husband.
” We were both not getting younger and we needed to act fast since we both wanted children,” she said.
According to her, they have been married for over 10 years now, and
she has no regrets for taking the initiative to propose to him.
Similarly, Mrs Jummy Okewole, a mother of two, said she was advised
to propose to her husband four years ago by some friends and close
relatives.
” As at the time we were dating, he had no stable job, but had
prospects and was responsible that was why I heeded to advise from
people close to me and proposed to him.
“Now, God has blessed him with a very good job, that he has even asked me to resign from my work and opened a business for me.”
Okewole, therefore stressed that financial status should not be used
as a yardstick for Marriage proposal, rather love and loyalty should be
considered.
Mrs Jummai Adamu, said she was under a lot of pressure from her
family and close friends that was why she proposed to her husband.
” Even though we have talked about settling down in the future, but
my family and some friends contributed in making me to propose to my
husband.
“Two of my younger sisters were already planning for their wedding, and they wanted me as the eldest to settle down before them.
“That was why I asked him to marry me or else I will settle down with another suitor, ”she said.
However, Miss Joy Obaseki, a spinster living in Karu said she could
not make a marriage proposal to a suitor despite its growing trend in
modern societies.
“I can not, because he might not respect me in future, especially when we have misunderstandings.
Similarly, Mr Anthony Adams a resident of Jabi said as a man it was
his responsibility to propose to a woman and not the other way round.
“I feel that makes me less of a man because I am the one to take care
of her and our children, so I will propose when I am ready.
“Since she is not paying the dowry, why would she make the marriage proposal?’’ he said.
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